One fixture stands out above all others this weekend.  Despite Southampton sorting themselves out since the last time, and nobody is expecting a repeat, Leicester should still have a good go at smashing them all over the place.  3-0 seems like a not-unreasonable prediction.

My problemo: I already have 3 Leicester players and Maddison isn’t one of them.  I would be surprised if he didn’t bring some sort of return, but equally I’ll have to sacrifice a Leicester defender and take my first 4 point hit of the season on another midfielder (Alli) in order to accommodate him. What’s a fella to do?  Maths…that’s what. (for any confused American readers, “maths” is the correct abbreviation of mathematics). I have 1.9m in the bank too, so my options are quite good:

1. Soyuncu plus [Alli replacement up to 10.7m]
2. Robertson/VVD plus Maddison minus 4

Which equation will be higher? 

At this point I should mention I had two free transfers but in a rush of blood I decided to use one to bring in Ben Foster and save my two free ones for the impending Liverpool DGW (GW24), otherwise the -4 element would not be a problem.  A little hint at my old ways creeping back in and I’m disappointed in myself, especially as Foster is a longer term investment so there was no need to do it now.  NEVER GOING TO BE KING OF GREECE WITH THESE SORTS OF RASH DECISIONS.

Soyuncu should get 6 points, no more, no less.  Alli probably will get 1 or 2, which is why I’m likely to take him out, but really, when I look at midfielders under 10.7m, it’s going to be either Mahrez, Richarlison or Martial.  None of them seem like a more interesting option than Maddison, on face value.  Martial appeals the most, let’s assume he scores and gets 3 bonus points in a clean sheet win for Utd. Equation A) therefore equals 6+11=17

Equation B), Liverpool will definitely score, but will they keep a clean sheet? Let’s say no, I predict 2-1 Liverpool, but Robertson gets an assist and bags 6 points. Will Maddison get the 15 he needs for me to break even?  That’s quite a lot, James.

In the end, I think I’m going to just accept I dropped a Baldock in making the Foster transfer and that I’m making this decision for the right reasons.  The guy who’s number 1 in Greece has Maddison, so we have ourselves a differential.

Alli for Martial, leaves 2.8m in the bank to play with when it comes to GW24. No Maddison for me.

Oh, by the way, I saw that nearly 250k players have transferred out Jamie Vardy for this gameweek.

He’s at home to Southampton, probably chomping at the bit after two weeks out, he isn’t currently a doubt AND IT’S HIS FLIPPIN BIRTHDAY.  He’s my captain and that’s that. Probably can still just about get away with the babyrocking celebration too. The script is written.

Just to mention some other things:

Grealish is really in form at the moment, and you may have noticed City aren’t, so I actually think Jackylad will give me something.  Not much needs to be said about KDB what with him being probably the best CM in the world.  Likewise Mane and TAA – top of their game, leave them out at your peril.

Lundstram is ABSOLUTELY NAILED ON to get double figures on Friday night. The Moyes factor was just a one-off and their bubble will burst. They’ll just blow some more so it’s not a big deal.

Jimenez should score at home to Newcastle, especially as their squad is decimated.

I’ve left Ings in as a hedge bet against my Leicester defenders. Nightmare scenario: Southampton score but it isn’t Ings. Doesn’t bear thinking about.

I’ll be satisfied with a 60+ score this week, but there’s the potential for an 80+ there.
Good Luck. May your arrows be green.

Having decided not to make any transfers, I was obviously fairly satisfied with my team going into GW21.  My only doubt was whether I’d made the right call on Pope over Schmeichel and which of my bench would score points. Strong pedigree for bench points across the board there.

First up, the early kickoffs are Brighton v Chelsea, which, in terms of my fpl team is of no interest to me whatsoever, and Burnley v Villa which has two of my lads in action.  I’m busy fulfilling the various lunch orders from my daughters so I’m not watching.

It’s always a bit weird when you have a GK and an outfield player against each other, but it’s a way of hedging your bets.  After 12 mins, up pops the notification on my phone. 0-1 Grealish. Boom.  Then about 3 mins later, up pops another notification: “VAR decision, goal disallowed. 0-0”.  I immediately leave the Baked Beans to their own devices and check out whether it is justified. It isn’t. If anyone is interested in my opinions on VAR and Offside, please see separate article.

But 10 mins later, Villa score for real. Must be Grealish? No, it isn’t. Come on. Score app says no assist either. FPL overrules. Grealish with the assist!  Then on the stroke of half time, Grealish scores!  Already pretty much guaranteeing himself 3 bonus points on top of the 10-11 he’ll be getting anyway. Decent start to the day.  Wood scores a late consolation which takes a point off Grealish but I don’t mind because it takes away clean sheets from anyone who has Villa defenders. Thinking of the bigger picture as always.

Next up, three games where I have an interest.

First, Southampton v Spurs. Ideal scenario: goalfest with Aurier getting an assist. A few mins in and Danny Ings strikes again – one of the best transfers I’ve ever made. Goalfest forecast: highly likely.

Reality: nothing else happens other than Kane crocking himself whilst also having a goal ruled out (correctly). That’ll be another 3 bonuses (boni?) for Ings, danke.  Alli does nothing, and looks more likely to get himself sent off if he’s going to do anything. Aurier gets booked. Disappointing return from the Spurs boys but Ingsy has done himself proud again.

Newcastle v Leicester. Hold up, where’s Vardy? Did I miss something? Yes I did, he’s injured, but apparently the entire world missed this too. Balls. Perez scores and celebrates against his old club, which I enjoy. Maddison scores a belter – I’m a little disappointed as I considered bringing him in, but it would have been at the expense of Grealish so it’s swings and roundabouts.  Newcastle get 4 (four) injuries and play the entire second half with 10 men.  Leicester stroll to a clean sheet, which is good for Soyuncu (+2 boni), but bad for Schmeichel on my bench.

Watford v Wolves. Not confident I’ll get much from this but if Wolves score, Jimenez will be involved somehow I reckon.  They do, but he isn’t. 2 points from him.

5:30
City v Everton. KDB doesn’t do much. 2 points
West Ham v Bournemouth. Wow. Mark Noble.  But nobody has him so that’s fine.
Norwich v Palace. CANTWELL! JBBPs for me. (10 of them. Delicious)

8pm
Arsenal v Utd, Arsenal brush them aside. When Plan A doesn’t work for Ole, it’s over because there is no Plan B. I like Arteta, wish him well. I like it when Arsenal win and the big strikers don’t do anything. If I can’t get points, I can at least enjoy that my competitors don’t get ahead. Also, I lived through enough of Utd’s dominance to quite enjoy seeing them languish.

2nd Jan, Liverpool v Sheffield Utd: I’m playing football so don’t watch the match. My feet feel like they’ve been replaced with clogs and I can feel the effects of Christmas and the fact I haven’t played for about 6 weeks. My team loses 14-1. I feel sorry for myself. Then I check the score and it’s 1-0 Liverpool and Salah scored, not Mane. Robertson assist, not TAA. I fear that could be it. Can’t see Liverpool scoring loads against Sheff Utd. I hobble off to the pub to watch the last 25 mins or so, just in time to see Mane score. It cheers me up.

71 points. Up to 1,137 overall. 2nd in Greece.  If I’d gone with Schmeichel I’d be #1 Greek.  Maybe it’s good. Will keep me humble. Although I am already working on a Zeus photoshop for next week so I can’t make any promises…

For the first week of the new year, no fixtures really jump out as ones I want to bring players in for.  A few players who are tempting:

Maddison – he really is very very good, although I already have 3 Leicester players so I’d have to use 2 transfers to get him in, and sacrifice another strong performer.

Martial – inconsistent, and I really think Arsenal will win.

Rashford – more consistent but the other point still stands and I’m pretty happy with my front 3.

Bernardo Silva – plays all the time, “due a goal”.  One of the reasons I’m doing better this season though, is going with what there is clear evidence for, rather than assuming form (good or bad) is due to change.

Mahrez – inconsistent but seems to be fairly high up the pecking order and at the very least will probably fall over for a penalty.  Always a risk of being rested though.

If Spurs were at home I might consider Kane but it would involve some rearranging to be able to afford him.  I think they’ll win but I think it’ll be low scoring so not willing to rock the boat too much

While I expect City and Liverpool to record wins, their opponents are looking strong so the games could be fairly tight.

I fancy Leicester to beat Newcastle fairly comfortably, and Vardy will be well up for it so he can do the Bebeto baby-rocking celebration.  Love that celebration – back when I played regularly, I hit the post whilst on paternity leave, robbing me of the chance to do it myself.  I didn’t score for another 4 years after that, by which time I had another daughter and both of them were able to verbally congratulate me, so the moment had somewhat passed.

Watford are bouncing back under Pearson so I’m not too interested in jumping on the Traore bandwagon. 

Will West Ham have a similar bounceback thanks to a new manager? Considering the new manager is the one they ditched a year or so ago and basically said he wasn’t good enough, I’m a bit confused as to what to make of his return.  Think I’ll avoid that one too, especially as I can never predict what Bournemouth are going to do – they could lose 3-0 or win 3-0 and neither would particularly surprise me.

I expect Burnley to beat Villa, so I’m considering selling Grealish and bringing in someone a little more expensive. Then again, Grealish is bang in form and it’s likely that if Villa do score, he’ll be involved in some way. 

I decide against making any transfers and get 2 free ones in the bank for the coming weeks, knowing that Maddison for Grealish (and X for Soyuncu/Schmeichel) is potentially the one I will regret.

The one conundrum is which GK to go with. As previously mentioned, I think there is a strong chance of both a Leicester and a Burnley clean sheet but I already have Soyuncu, so to hedge my bets I go with Pope.

Captain choice: it’s between Vardy, KDB and Mane.  In the end the home fixture and the fact that Liverpool are just unstoppable means I’m going with Mane.

Right lads, gather round please.  Starting XI today is as follows, 3-4-3:

Popey in net. Trent, Serge and Prince Charming at the back.  Jack, Kev, Dele, Sadio across the middle. Dele, don’t get sent off today mate. Sadio, you’re captain today so don’t be afraid to be selfish. Jamie, Raul and Danny up top. Just go out and do what you do best. So that leaves Todd, Kasper, John and Martin on the bench, but it’s a long season lads with lots of games so stay warm and I’ll try and get you on when there’s a chance.  Ok lads get out there [clapping]. Sadio: “yeah come on lads, from the first whistle eh”….etc, fade to advert break.

TL:DR Version..

GW11: Tomori in for Matip. Everything works in my favour. Prince Charming scores and gets a clean sheet. 14 points for him. Vardy scores again, obviously. 5 in 3 since coming into my team. Abraham scores and gets an assist. 12 points for him. Then first sub John Lundstram scores twice and ends up with 21 points.  Meanwhile Cancelo doesn’t start for City. There’s a chance Lundstram will continue his fine form on the JBBP front.  It gets a bit clenchy towards the end of the City game when they have a 1 goal lead to protect. It seems clear Pep will bring on a defender towards the end to see it out. Who will it be?  Please not Cancelo, please not Cancelo! Competitors in my leagues are saying similar prayers but replace “Cancelo” with “Mendy” or “Otamendi”.  Thankfully the well-groomed, tattooed Argentinian gets the nod and Lundstram’s 21 points are mine.

76 points, up to 13k OVR

GW12: Sticking with Pukki one more week. If he doesn’t score at home to Watford he’s gone.  He doesn’t, so he is.  Standard 12 points for Vardy (Goal, Assist, MOM) and everyone has him now. Goal for Cpt Tammy, clean sheet and MOM for Tomori. 8 points for Soyuncu, 7 for Mane.  72 points and an 8th consecutive green arrow and I’m in uncharted territory, 9,051 OVR.

GW13: Pukki is gone. Jimenez is in. Mourinho joins Spurs, so in comes Aurier for Cancelo. Nobody can guess which of City’s defenders is going to play so I just remove that worry from my fast-beating heart.  Both new signings reward me with some sort of return.  Vardy scores for the 5th consecutive game.  Mane scores.  Cantwell gets 10 points but stays on my bench like an Anti-Lundstram.  Pope also gets 9 points for my bench, but at least Heaton (class) gets 7 anyway.  A decent week, 64 points but a red arrow – down to 10,061. I enjoyed my flirtation with the top 10k elite. Pukki didn’t score btw.

GW14: my change of fortune this season if not already proven with my Lundstram JBBPs, and my perfect Pukki and Vardy timing, comes in the form of a nice lad from the south coast whose career had unfairly faltered due to injury.  Danny, Lord of the Ings.  He’s scored in a couple of games in a row but been pretty under the radar thanks to Vardy. But I confidently take a punt seeing how I’m a top 10k player nowadays. Abraham makes way.

Goal, MOM, thank you Danny. KDB gets 10 points, Vardy scores again (tell you what, I’ll just let you know when he DIDN’T score, ok?).  Sterling scores.  On the downside, Captain Mane did nothing and Cantwell and Kelly again got loads of points on the bench.

49 points, red arrow, down to 12,482.

GW15: Schmeichel in for Heaton. Ings does it again, another 9 points. Big haul from Mane, 15 for him. Captain Vardy gets booked to go with his standard goal which probably lost him bonus points too. 65 points, back up into top 10k like I gosh darn deserve to be.

GW16: Kelly gets a start for Westermania and doesn’t disappoint. In fact he 8-points. Spurs finally get a clean sheet so Aurier gets 6. Nobody else does anything, apart from the obvious Vardy-Ings double trouble strikeforce. 52 points and a tumble out of the top 20k!  I do however notice that I am in the top 100 for Greece (I chose Greece as my nationality a couple years back as a homage to the Greek shipping magnates who had just bought my club and revitalised things) – this could be an interesting side story.

GW17: time for change. Sterling has had too many chances, he’s out. Son gets the nod, which allows me to also get in Trent for Tomori. I say “ta laa” to TAA for the 6 points, Son does nothing (while Sterling obviously scores).  KDB puts in one of the best individual performances I’ve seen in many years and gets 19 points against Arsenal. Lundstram stays on my bench with 11. VARDY DOESN’T SCORE which is a Krul blow (this is a clever joke because it was Norwich City’s dutch goalkeeper Tim Krul who was credited with an Own Goal, meaning Vardy was downgraded to an assist). 59 points and down to 28k OVR. Freefall.

GW18: next shout – Grealish is looking tasty, I watched him v Newcastle and absolutely ran the show. Not 100% he’s wearing regulation shinpads but I’m gonna put him in for Mount. He duly obliges with a goal.  Son got the nod as captain seeing as Liverpool didn’t have a game, and got sent off the silly sausage. Everyone has one of those FPL players who always seems to do their worst when he’s in your squad, and saves his best performances for just before or after you own him.  Son is one of mine (along with Dele Alli and Gylffi Sigs).  Nightmare, I’ll never get a green arrow again with this luck.  But will the following people please step forward: Danny Ings (13), Jamie Vardy (9) and Todd Cantwell (10).  You have all done me proud. This green arrow is for you, and because of you. 65 points, back within spitting distance of the top 10k (10,580)

GW19: get rid of Son and take a risk by bringing in another of my historically-cursed players: Dele Alli.  Go on then, I’ll double down on this crazy idea and give him the armband. He scores and I’m happy. Neither Ings nor Vardy score, which is weird. But thankfully Jimenez turns it on late against City. Crazy game. KDB got an assist, so did Mane and Grealish in their games. But the best is saved for last. TAA, 24 points. Clean sheet, 3 assists (not sure he should get the assist for putting in the cross which Soyuncu slapped, but I’ll take it) and a Carlos Alberto 1970 goal to finish it off. Lovely.  81 points and a huge climb to 2,535 overall?! Top 10 Greece. I hope the Greeks aren’t angry with me.

GW20: KDB captain, goal, assist, clean sheet, MOM. B.E.A.Utiful.  Mane gets 11, TAA gets 8, Ings gets 9.  Vardy takes some paternity leave. 65 points consolidates my new position of top 2500 (4th in Greece, uh oh) and brings us up to date.  What will 2020 bring? I’m nervous about Spurs players and Liverpool have a double gameweek coming up soon. Do I go double defender, or do I try and squeeze Salah in alongside Mane?  Will my luck continue? Or have I peaked and will I fall away and just have this blog as a reminder of that time I flirted with greatness? Or will none of it matter because the world will implode?

TL:DR Version..

GW2: Pukki! I was right! But I bottled captaining him. Went with Salah who did nowt. Firmino and Sterling scored at least, but other than that it was a couple of assists from my MF and a very poor show from my DFs.
52 points, up into the top million.

GW3: WILDCARD ALREADY!  Nothing wrong with that in the 2 wildcard era. Leave it too late and you’ve already priced yourself out of the market and I really needed to sort out some of my defensive choices. Martial in for Milivojevic and Mane in for Salah initially for the -4 hit before I pressed that Wildcard button. Ended up with Connor Wickham in my squad for a cheap option.  Mason Mount is going to have the team built around him at Chelsea isnt he, Lampard is going for him, so actually get Martial back out again and get him in.  And who’s that Lundstram fella who’s down as a DF but is quite clearly a creative MF (midfielder, not the other abbreviation). Sheff Utd are doing well so far for a team who will be relegated by April. Already said I liked Cantwell. Burnley look solid, particularly at home, Pope probably underpriced seeing as nobody was 100% sure who’d be their Number 1 this season.  Newcastle rubbish, get rid of Ritchie and get in Mina who will score a few from corners and OFCOURSE GET KDB IN! He’s back, and he’s underpriced!

As it happens, GW3 was mediocre. Clean sheet for Heaton. Cpt Sterling and Mason Mount both scored. Pukki did the business again. Another assist for KDB, but other than that, nothing much.
55 points, OVR 626,893

GW4: mediocre again. 50 points, red arrow. 4.4m GW rank, back out of the top million overall. A few goals but my defence is really letting me down.  Matip in for Maguire for GW5.

GW5: Much better! Captain Mane with a brace, Pukki with another goal and assist against City of all teams but I went and left Toddy C on the bench again didn’t I!  Mason Mount scored. DF did nothing again.

71 points, huge climb to 393k OVR.  No transfers for GW6 required. Bank an additional one for GW7. It’s a luxury afforded to someone in the top 394k OF THE ENTIRE WORLD.

GW6: 69 points, very nice. Made all the more sweet by my first haul of Jammy points. VC KDB became Captain Kevin and got me 34 points on his own.  Zinchenko didn’t play so Lundstram came off my bench with 12! *chefs kiss*. Didn’t really mind the Mina OG in the end. Up to the dizzying heights of 216k OVR

GW7: two transfers. That DF from Leicester who looks like the prince out of Shrek (Exhibit A) comes in for Mina and then Mason “We don’t need Erling Haland anyway because we’ve got” Greenwood for Wickham because they were the same price and one of them at least has the potential to be good.  Soyuncu gets 6 points straight away, Matip gets MOM so gives me 9, KDB serves up 2 assists and Cpt Kane scores.  63 points and up to 108k OVR.

GW8: No need for transfers. My team is doing just fine thanks.  Cue zero points all over the place and the basic 2 points from my captain Sterling. Mane (12), Pope (7), Mount (7) and Lundstram (5 JBBPs) are the only ones who give me anything. Greenwood comes on for a little cameo against Newcastle meaning Martin Kelly sits firmly on my bench with another 7 points. He’s doing the business and maybe deserves to play.
41 points but somehow I climb into top 100k.

GW9: Time to accept Tammy Abraham might actually be really good. And also Vardy is starting to look sharp – got a couple against Newcastle. Fancy him to go on a bit of a run.. Kane looking sluggish.  Abraham and Vardy in for Greenwood and Kane.  Abraham instantly handed captaincy and does nothing.  Vardy scores, knew it. Pukki hasn’t done much for a few weeks. Might get rid.  Zinchenko also not playing anymore, but at least Lundstram comes in with those delicious JBBPs (Jammy Bstard Bench Points, for those who didn’t write it down earlier). 39 points, poor, but again I somehow climb. 93k OVR.

GW10: speaking both relatively and in absolute terms, the best week of the season so far. Cancelo in for Zinchenko with a clean sheet. 4 of my MF get assists, as does Abraham. Captain Sterling scores.  But this is the week of Southampton 0-9 Leicester and Mr James Vardy scores a hattrick and throws an assist into the mix too.  80 points overall and this was before every person had Vardy.  Feeling pretty chuffed with myself for my Pukki and Vardy calls this season.  Huge jump OVR, up to 21k!

Next Blog: Part 2, GW11-20

Exhibit A:

Note: Don’t worry, I will do a much shorter recap of the other 19 weeks

Having made my predictions, it was time to choose the potential Absolute Legends who would be pulling on the [blank colour] shirt of Westermania in this surely breakthrough season.

Sterling and Salah, obviously, only a fool wouldn’t have both of those, especially with a “potential six-niller” at Anfield on the opening evening. There goes about a quarter of the budget.  Allison in goal, obviously, because he might not concede a goal until October.  Norwood, obviously, as mentioned in the last chapter.  Milivojevic, because VAR plus Zaha meant surely he’d get as many penalties as he could possible dream of.  Firmino is just the sort of player who’ll score a couple against Norwich, get him in.  Slabhead at the back, he’ll sort Utd right out and probably score a few as well won’t he.  Zinchenko, Benji knows he’s first choice LB this season for City. Smart. Matt Ritchie, FPL defender who’s actually more of a winger, and he takes penalties. Probably going to win the whole darn competition with this team.  Maddison has looked good since Rodgers took over, worth a shot, could go either way.  Cheap striker, hello Gerard Deulofeu, you might be the one who starts the season with a bang perhaps?  Now, fill up the bench.  Heaton is class and will have lots of shots to save. Martin Kelly? 4m? Yes please. Shane Long. Oops, I went with my heart. Love him as a player. Doesn’t score many goals though does he? This might be his comeback season perhaps, or he might move somewhere else and it all just clicks? He deserves it. Sit down there Shane, you’ll get your chance mate.  Klose. Cheap promoted defenders who are dangerous from corners are always worth getting in your team.  The chosen 15. Mo, put this armband on lad, I trust you.

So what happened?

GW1. Best ever GW1 for me.  Everyone played, which was a good start.  Treated myself to a NOW TV pass for the opening weekend to cast my eye over my gang.  I was right about Alisson not conceding a goal until Oct wasn’t I. Knacked his calf after 38 mins..  Captain Salah scored and got an assist by half time, 4-0 and I’m dreaming of triple figures already.  Sterling goes and bangs in a hattrick too. Cleanies for Zinchenko and Maguire. Decent. I’m normally pleased with 50 in GW1.

GW Points: 72
OVR: 1.898m

What did I learn?

Watching the Liverpool game I learned that Norwich might actually have a go this season and Pukki looks the real deal.  In fact, he is definitely going to be the one who everyone should have for the first 5-6 weeks. By half time I was already impressed by him and Cantwell (See Exhibit A footnote)

Pukki scores and I immediately put my money where my mouth is and bring him in for Deulofeu for GW2.

I also learned that City are unstoppable and it doesn’t matter whether they are home or away, Sterling is lethal. KDB looked good too tbf.. Newcastle look rubbish. Might captain Pukki for GW2?

Exhibit A: Undeniable and irrefutable proof that I was impressed by Cantwell: