TL:DR Version..
GW11: Tomori in for Matip. Everything works in my favour. Prince Charming scores and gets a clean sheet. 14 points for him. Vardy scores again, obviously. 5 in 3 since coming into my team. Abraham scores and gets an assist. 12 points for him. Then first sub John Lundstram scores twice and ends up with 21 points. Meanwhile Cancelo doesn’t start for City. There’s a chance Lundstram will continue his fine form on the JBBP front. It gets a bit clenchy towards the end of the City game when they have a 1 goal lead to protect. It seems clear Pep will bring on a defender towards the end to see it out. Who will it be? Please not Cancelo, please not Cancelo! Competitors in my leagues are saying similar prayers but replace “Cancelo” with “Mendy” or “Otamendi”. Thankfully the well-groomed, tattooed Argentinian gets the nod and Lundstram’s 21 points are mine.
76 points, up to 13k OVR
GW12: Sticking with Pukki one more week. If he doesn’t score at home to Watford he’s gone. He doesn’t, so he is. Standard 12 points for Vardy (Goal, Assist, MOM) and everyone has him now. Goal for Cpt Tammy, clean sheet and MOM for Tomori. 8 points for Soyuncu, 7 for Mane. 72 points and an 8th consecutive green arrow and I’m in uncharted territory, 9,051 OVR.
GW13: Pukki is gone. Jimenez is in. Mourinho joins Spurs, so in comes Aurier for Cancelo. Nobody can guess which of City’s defenders is going to play so I just remove that worry from my fast-beating heart. Both new signings reward me with some sort of return. Vardy scores for the 5th consecutive game. Mane scores. Cantwell gets 10 points but stays on my bench like an Anti-Lundstram. Pope also gets 9 points for my bench, but at least Heaton (class) gets 7 anyway. A decent week, 64 points but a red arrow – down to 10,061. I enjoyed my flirtation with the top 10k elite. Pukki didn’t score btw.
GW14: my change of fortune this season if not already proven with my Lundstram JBBPs, and my perfect Pukki and Vardy timing, comes in the form of a nice lad from the south coast whose career had unfairly faltered due to injury. Danny, Lord of the Ings. He’s scored in a couple of games in a row but been pretty under the radar thanks to Vardy. But I confidently take a punt seeing how I’m a top 10k player nowadays. Abraham makes way.
Goal, MOM, thank you Danny. KDB gets 10 points, Vardy scores again (tell you what, I’ll just let you know when he DIDN’T score, ok?). Sterling scores. On the downside, Captain Mane did nothing and Cantwell and Kelly again got loads of points on the bench.
49 points, red arrow, down to 12,482.
GW15: Schmeichel in for Heaton. Ings does it again, another 9 points. Big haul from Mane, 15 for him. Captain Vardy gets booked to go with his standard goal which probably lost him bonus points too. 65 points, back up into top 10k like I gosh darn deserve to be.
GW16: Kelly gets a start for Westermania and doesn’t disappoint. In fact he 8-points. Spurs finally get a clean sheet so Aurier gets 6. Nobody else does anything, apart from the obvious Vardy-Ings double trouble strikeforce. 52 points and a tumble out of the top 20k! I do however notice that I am in the top 100 for Greece (I chose Greece as my nationality a couple years back as a homage to the Greek shipping magnates who had just bought my club and revitalised things) – this could be an interesting side story.
GW17: time for change. Sterling has had too many chances, he’s out. Son gets the nod, which allows me to also get in Trent for Tomori. I say “ta laa” to TAA for the 6 points, Son does nothing (while Sterling obviously scores). KDB puts in one of the best individual performances I’ve seen in many years and gets 19 points against Arsenal. Lundstram stays on my bench with 11. VARDY DOESN’T SCORE which is a Krul blow (this is a clever joke because it was Norwich City’s dutch goalkeeper Tim Krul who was credited with an Own Goal, meaning Vardy was downgraded to an assist). 59 points and down to 28k OVR. Freefall.
GW18: next shout – Grealish is looking tasty, I watched him v Newcastle and absolutely ran the show. Not 100% he’s wearing regulation shinpads but I’m gonna put him in for Mount. He duly obliges with a goal. Son got the nod as captain seeing as Liverpool didn’t have a game, and got sent off the silly sausage. Everyone has one of those FPL players who always seems to do their worst when he’s in your squad, and saves his best performances for just before or after you own him. Son is one of mine (along with Dele Alli and Gylffi Sigs). Nightmare, I’ll never get a green arrow again with this luck. But will the following people please step forward: Danny Ings (13), Jamie Vardy (9) and Todd Cantwell (10). You have all done me proud. This green arrow is for you, and because of you. 65 points, back within spitting distance of the top 10k (10,580)
GW19: get rid of Son and take a risk by bringing in another of my historically-cursed players: Dele Alli. Go on then, I’ll double down on this crazy idea and give him the armband. He scores and I’m happy. Neither Ings nor Vardy score, which is weird. But thankfully Jimenez turns it on late against City. Crazy game. KDB got an assist, so did Mane and Grealish in their games. But the best is saved for last. TAA, 24 points. Clean sheet, 3 assists (not sure he should get the assist for putting in the cross which Soyuncu slapped, but I’ll take it) and a Carlos Alberto 1970 goal to finish it off. Lovely. 81 points and a huge climb to 2,535 overall?! Top 10 Greece. I hope the Greeks aren’t angry with me.
GW20: KDB captain, goal, assist, clean sheet, MOM. B.E.A.Utiful. Mane gets 11, TAA gets 8, Ings gets 9. Vardy takes some paternity leave. 65 points consolidates my new position of top 2500 (4th in Greece, uh oh) and brings us up to date. What will 2020 bring? I’m nervous about Spurs players and Liverpool have a double gameweek coming up soon. Do I go double defender, or do I try and squeeze Salah in alongside Mane? Will my luck continue? Or have I peaked and will I fall away and just have this blog as a reminder of that time I flirted with greatness? Or will none of it matter because the world will implode?
Westermania FPL: A Journey Through Mediocrity 